July: To The Lighthouse

written by Virginia Woolf

man I thought strangers on a train was in the characters heads a lot of the time, and then I started to the lighthouse and realized that's what 90% of the book was.

I will be upfront and say I didn't like this book very much. this isnt a knock on the book at all, I thought it was well written for what it's purpose was, which is to be an exploration of human relations and families and grief. I just personally did not vibe with the stream of conscious style of writing, and the extended metaphors and descriptions and the nebulous point of view that jumped from character to character to omniscient POV with no warning. I initially started reading this as an ebook, then got 10 pages in and realized I had not absorbed a single word I had read, so I switched to an audiobook and that at least let me gently flow through the words and pick up pieces that resonated with me. it's very much a Vibes based book over Plot, and while usually I do like pieces of media that have a vague, dreamlike feel to them, I think it didnt work this time because I felt so unmoored in the narration for most of it. I was lost in the metaphors and inner thoughts and was grasping for some kind of concrete anchor to latch onto to figure out where I was in a scene.

I also think I didn't like the book because at parts it reminds me too much of my own navel gazing sessions. I read somewhere that this was woolf's most autobiographical book and I could feel the raw emotions underpinning the characters monologues. I did end up liking the book more by the end of it, because I started getting used to the ebb and flow of the prose and starting to understand the feelings underlying the metaphors. still think it wasn't a book for me, but I understand why so many people did like it (at least according to goodreads reviews).

overall even if I personally didn't like to the lighthouse I can agree that it is a powerful piece exploring human roles and relationships.

June: Strangers On A Train

written by Patricia Highsmith

yes I am writing this post in july. don't worry about it

I voted for this book for the june bookbug book because from the summary it seemed most like my usual style of book (that being horror/thriller or adjacent). I have a comfort genre and given the choice I want to stick to it... that aside, I did enjoy this book! it was a lot more in the characters heads than I expected it to be, but I thought the internal conflict was interesting... every time bruno appeared on the page I was wondering what he was going to do next.

the writing felt fairly dense yet not difficult to parse. I do feel like even though guy was one of the main characters of the book, he had drastically less agency than bruno or even anne. everything that happened in the book felt like it was already laid out for him, and all that needed to happen was for the first domino to fall. I can't help but feel I would be able to handle his situation better LOL but at the same time it is fascinating to watch a character fight uselessly against the whims of fate...

the last chunk of the book starting with bruno's death felt sort of disconnected from the rest of the book. I'm not sure where I was expecting the trainwreck (pun intended) of a story to end up, but it wasn't with bruno dying and for guy to confess everything to a character that hadn't been brought up since the start of the book... I dunno, it felt really weird. also there's no closure with what happens to guy after that, but in a way I felt like it was fine there was none

overall I thought it was a fun, quick thriller novel with some nice cerebral bits whenever we get into some internal monologuing

May: The Master and Margarita

written by Mikhail Bulgakov, translated by Richard Pevar and Larissa Volokhonsky

the master and margarita was a little bit difficult to get into, admittedly. I'm not used to reading classics and so the style of writing threw me off some... I pushed onwards and got hooked by the end of chapter three.

I thought the presentation of satan (Woland) in this novel was very interesting. not to bring dnd terminology to a 1960's novel, but he felt more chaotic than evil, simply doing things for his own amusement rather specifically to cause harm. well. except for berlioz. jury's still out on if that was woland's fault or not.

the latter half of the novel was more interesting than the first half for me. I could relate to margarita's desire for freedom and the feelings of having everything laid out for her but still being unhappy. I'm glad in the end she got to reconnect with the master; I thought their love story was charming.

I don't 100% understand the interweaving of pontius pilate's story into the story. a pushback against the atheism of the soviet union? there were footnotes in the version I read but other than that I didn't have any background of the setting the novel was written in so. grasping at straws

overall I enjoyed the slide from more realistic to total fantasy over the course of the novel. I thought behemoth was funny. I had a fun time reading this. :-)